Supporting a child who has experienced constipation looks like making space for a few extra steps in the potty training process says Rebecca Mottram.
Dear Rebecca, My nearly 23-month-old has been doing great with wees on the potty, but he refuses to poo anywhere except in his nappy while sitting on the floor. Today I tried removing nappies altogether and he coped fine with wees—but when he needed a poo, he became frantic asking for his nappy. I gave in, but then he wore it for ages before actually going. I’m worried about withholding and whether I’m confusing him by letting him wear the nappy for so long. He’s on mild laxatives as he can take a long time to pass a poo. What should I do?
From a stressed mum on day #1 of potty training
First of all—you’re not alone. What you’re describing is one of the most common sticking points in potty training, and you’ve already spotted the key issue: constipation.
When children have experienced constipation, even once, their bodies and brains quickly learn to delay or control pooing. Sitting on the floor in a nappy is a very effective strategy as it slows the passage of poo, gives extra control, and provides sensory feedback that reduces the anxiety they feel when pooing hurts or feels unfamiliar. Over time, this becomes a habitual response. When you try to take the nappy away, the response will be anxiety: How will I do my poo now? OK, I just won’t poo” is the usual thinking of toddlers in this situation. Of course, that repeats the cycle and makes the constipation worse.
The good news is: you haven’t “gone wrong.” Allowing a child to use a nappy for poo can actually be a sensible part of the learning process. The important thing is that nappies are offered with clear expectations and structure and not as an open-ended option. The two core skills you want him to master right now are:
Body awareness: recognising, listening to, and responding to his signals for when a poo is coming.
Social learning: understanding that wees and poos belong in the toilet/potty, and that toileting is a private activity.
Allowing your child to gently transition away from nappies is where my Little Steps approach comes in. It’s designed exactly for situations like this. where a child needs a slower, supportive transition away from nappies. Instead of all-or-nothing, it breaks toileting down into achievable steps, with lots of emotional support along the way. Combined with effective constipation management (see my free constipation course don’t skimp on those laxatives until things have been truly comfortable and regular for at least 3 months!), you can gradually shift the association from “nappy on the floor” to “potty or toilet” without tears, power struggles, or hours in limbo.
So, don’t panic. Withholding at this age isn’t a behavioural problem; it’s a survival strategy! With reassurance, the right medical support, and a gentle step-by-step framework, you can help your child get through this and you dont need to stop potty learning.
For a full guide on using the Little Steps approach, you’ll find lots of practical detail in my upcoming book Positively Potty (out January 2026) and in episodes of the Go Potty Podcast.
You’re already tuned in to your son’s signals and needs—that’s half the battle won. The next stage is about shaping those habits with patience and structure. You’ve got this!
—Rebecca
If you have a potty dilemma, why not ask Rebecca? Submit your question to our Potty Talk series.
Rebecca Mottram, the founder of Little Bunny Bear, author of The Baby Pottying Guide and host of The Go Potty Podcast, is a registered Children’s Nurse, potty learning researcher and consultant. Rebecca provides coaching to parents and carers around the world via private consultations and workshops. She also designs the Go Potty™ range of nappy belt systems, mattress protection and potty learning clothes and the Sew Potty™ range of sewing patterns.