When Mr Poo appears as if from nowhere, in the bath, understanding why it happens and how to respond calmly makes all the difference between a funny story for later, or a memory that sets potty training back says Nurse Rebecca Mottram.
Bath-time poos are one of the most common questions parents ask me about and yet most parents only bring it up as part of their potty training journey, and its usually along the lines of “well, there was this one time when he/she got really upset” when they did a poo in a bath”.
Why does poo happen in the bath?
There are two main reasons:
Relaxation. Warm water relaxes muscles and this includes the bowel and rectal muscles. If a child is due a poo, the bath can be just the right trigger for it to slip out.
Distraction. In the bath children are busy, happy, and less focused on holding in signals. Their guard is down, so the poo arrives unexpectedly.
Why do children get scared?
From an adult’s perspective, it’s just an accident. But for a child, especially one who isnt used to seeing their own poo (espeiclaly only seeing poo in a nappy – which will have been squashed usually and so will look different), it can feel alarming because lets face it, a poo can look somewhat sinister! Weve all seen those videos of cats jumping in the air when they see a cucumber. Our natural human reaction is surprise! Also, they probably didn’t feel it coming, and suddenly there’s something floating in the water. This is often heightened by the sensory shock of the sight, smell, and movement of poo in the bath being unusual or out of place, as well as seeing any shock or surprise you may have.
The bottom line: if children haven’t had many chances to see or talk about poo, it can feel like something “bad” or “scary” has happened.
How to handle a poo in the bath (without trauma
- Of course you’ll be surprised, so if your child hasn’t had a poo yet that day, knowing that it could happen is key to reduce your own surprise if it does. Try to stay calm (I know, it’s easier said than done) and definitely try not to show any disgust. A neutral “Oh look, a poo has come out, let’s clean it up” keeps the situation safe.
- Reassure your child. Say something like, “That’s okay, sometimes poo comes out in the bath. Poo belongs in the potty or toilet, but it’s no big deal—we’ll sort it.”
- Show them what happens next. If possible, scoop the poo into the potty or toilet and let them flush it away with you. This helps reinforce the idea that poo always ends up in the right place.
- Clean up gently. Give your child a quick rinse in fresh water so the bath feels safe again.
How to prevent bath-time poo accident
- You can’t stop them completely, but you can reduce the chances by:
- Offering the potty time before the bath. Encourage a wee or poo on the potty/toilet before running the water.
- Keep a routine. Many children naturally poo at the same time of day. Use that to your advantage by planning baths after, not before.
- Talking about poo. Make poo a normal, everyday topic. Make Mr Poo with some poo doh (LINK) . The more children understand that poo is simply something the body does, the less scary it will be if it appears unexpectedly.
The bigger picture
Handled calmly, a poo in the bath is just a blip, not a disaster. But if a child feels shamed or frightened, it can become a negative memory that makes them more anxious about pooing in general. And that, as I explain in my Go Potty method, can contribute to withholding and constipation down the line.
So next time it happens, take a deep breath, smile if you can, and remind yourself: it’s not just a poo in the bath. It’s also a chance to teach your child body awareness, reassurance, and the social rule that “poo goes in the toilet.”
What if my child refuses to get in the bath again?
Sometimes, a poo in the bath can be so surprising that your child doesn’t want to get back in the tub. This is really common, but it doesn’t have to be like Jaws where they wont ever get back in the water. Here are some tips:
If you think your child was scared or upset, acknowledge their feelings. Say, “I know that was a big surprise. You felt worried when the poo came out in the bath.” Naming the feeling helps your child feel understood.
Next bath time, fill the tub with fresh water while your child watches. Let them see you clean the bath so they know it’s safe. It can help to make them feel more in control by giving them a choice such as getting in standing up first, or sitting on the edge. Let them get in at their own pace to help them feel more confident.
As I always recommend, use play to help reduce fear and play out what to expect. Bring in a toy potty or toy figures and role-play what happens when a poo comes. Laughter and play make a fabulous antidote to fear and can help to process feelings in an age appropriate way.
Let them get out again, or have a short bath. Even a quick two-minute splash helps rebuild positive associations. You can extend the time gradually as their confidence returns.
Be patient and focus on calm reassurance, and they’ll come around. Most importantly, avoid pressure or bribery. The goal is to make bath time feel safe and predictable again. Once the fear has faded, children almost always go back to loving their bath.
Feeling overwhelmed by a potty problem?
I have lots of free resources for you, but if you are overwhelmed and not sure what steps to take, please do get in touch with me for a private consultation.
Nurse Rebecca Mottram is an advocate for Baby Pottying and a potty training expert. She is the author of two books; The Baby Pottying Guide and Positively Potty, the host of the Go Potty Podcast and founder of the Little Bunny Bear shop. If you are trying to resolve a potty problem, you can explore Rebecca’s free resources, join her Facebook group or request a private consultation.